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Dear Diary,
Do you ever wonder why like, when you see silly people on TV carrying signs and yelling they always support like, Democrats? And when it's a conservative protest nobody really shows up? It's because only the liberals have time to go to a stupid protest because they are all lazy unemployed smellies.
Okay liberals tend to like art, writing, acting, and singing because they have to since they are bad at everything smart right? So they really really love it and have no logic so they devote their entire educashon to it. But only 1 in 10,000 of them succeed in that stuff because it's like pure talent and practicing is useless, so 9,999 of them are now left without a job and useful skills. Oops! I mean, I can like understand wasting an education since I totally am but it's okay since I'm a female Republican and the guys get tons of money, but it's not like that for everyone else.
So what do you do if you have no job and you can't get a job? You whine! You make silly posters and walk around going look at me! I have no money! You're like waa I want free clothes, waaa I want people to give money to me! Well maybe if you didn't like, waste your life you could buy your own clothes!
- Michelle
Update: Michelle is kind of bitter today because some stupid liberal girl got really drunk and puked over her open dresser. Like,  .
- Michelle
Dear Diary,
Omg! I'm Michelle and I make generalizations about people! I have an elitest superior attitude and I think I'm sooooo cool! I totally ignore the complete picture like I don't know, rich employed Hollywood liberals, or like Republican hicks! Totally! I think I'm so smart but all I know is what my daddy told me!
- Anti_SororityGirl
Update: Fuck you, asshole.
- Anti_SororityGirl | | | |
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Like the phoenix, I rise from the ashes.
I HAVE RETURNED. FEAR ME.
Dear Diary,
You know the problem with like democracy? Once you get to the top it lets people on the bottom try to go up there too and knock you down! This is totally unfair. They are inherently inferior! Born into the wrong family? Too bad, if you don't like it go back up into your mommy's thingy. What is this "equal opportunity" thingy you're looking for? That's like, totally not beneficial to me, and therefore stupid. So to fight this unjustice I want to pass these "ordinances". (Hehe I used the word again. It's really very useful.)
1) Raise college tuitions really really high so poor people can't pay for them!
2) Lower the tax levels for the rich
3) Hire people exclusively based on who their daddy is
4) Give rich people clean streets and police while the poor people can kill each other off.
5) Racially profile! White is right!
- Michelle
Update: Wait... I think these ordinances are all passed already! Doh. Okay okay, how bout if you don't have health insurance the doctor automatically cuts off your leg?
- Michelle
Dear Diary,
Sororitygirl found out where I lived and launched a massive perfume grenade attack upon me. Due to my allergies against heavily scented idiots, I had no choice but to surrender. However, I have gone to the store and bought some Claritin. I am back. Hm... about this entry. Poor Michelle doesn't realize that every single problem she has with democracy are the things that make it great. Where would we be without the Martin Luther Kings who clawed their way to the top? Where would I be without the lowly Mom and Pop store who gave me Claritin at my neediest hour? America, you are the Claritin to my runny nose, my Neosporin to my cuts received from shattered perfume bottles, and my alcoholic elixir of happiness. *burp*
- Anti_SororityGirl | | | |
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I spontaneously combusted today. | | | |
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Dear Diary,
You know, I'm like not even sure if humans are evolutionalmently superior than other animals. We don't have a part of the body that other people have. Monkeys invented tails, dolphins invented flippers, kangaroos invented pockets, and penguins invented the tuxedo! But what do humans invent? Nothing! So I was in the car and I says to myself Michelle, we need an invention. What should we have? And then I was like OMG, we could invent the car! But not exactly the car, we could invent wheels! Think about how amazing it would be if instead of walking around, we rolled around? Everything would be better and everyone would be so happy. There would be no wars or poverty because whenever someone was sad they could just roll around and be like whee this is fun!
- Michelle
Update: Omg what if your wheel deflates? Would you always have to carry like a basketball pump around with you?
- Michelle
Dear Diary,
I'm not going to respond to that entry. Instead, I will write a SororityGirl entry of my own.
Omg. Like, omg, lol! Totally omg. Omg, fat! Lol, FAT!
The End.
- Anti_SororityGirl | | | |
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Dear Diary,
You know how like non water stuff is made out of fruit? Like, orange juice and lemonade are juice. And you know how people say tomatoes are fruit because they make juice? Well omg, I totally found another hidden fruit! BEANS ARE FRUIT! Coffee is actually just bean juice! The food pyramid is totally like going to have to be torn down and rebuilt. Omg, call the Egyptians, lol. This is all because my awesome brain strikes again! The power of my mind is scary, lol!
- Michelle
Update: Omg, milk. Does this make cows fruit too?!
- Michelle
Dear Diary,
Once again, Michelle gone into previously uncharted territory. She has identified multiple new species of fruit. Without a doubt, this Mensa shoo-in will grow up to be a scientist rivaled only by the likes of Newton and Einstein. Worlds will be redifined by her discoveries... and to think this all started just because she realized a cow was a fruit.
- Anti_SororityGirl | | | |
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